While most of you are probably questiong why there is a picture of the Women's Softball Team, and a not pic of the always tasty, Jenny Finch, accompanying this fratombomb article, I would like you to know it is for a good reason.
It will allow you to honestly answer the following question: Would anyone (women included), care/know about/report on Women's softball if there were absolutely no good looking players? As it is right now, most of you are continuing to read this article, with the sole hope that there will be pictures of Jenny Finch to follow.
Does softball exist because it's a shitty offshoot of the great American pasttime? Like how date rape rode the coattails of standard rape for millenia until carving out its own niche? Or does the US only fund a softball team because we need to keep up in the medal count with countries like China, who either throw out female babies, or turn them in gymnastics automotons?
Well I guess the second theory went out the window, becuase on Thursday night these ladies looked more shocked and defeated than the girls on Monster Cocks after getting hit with the firehose load. After 22 straight Olympic victories, and countless wins over respectbale divsion 1 college opponents, the US national team got smoked 3-1 by Japan, who we previously beat in the tourney 1-0, and ended up with a silver medal.
Now, I know you are all saying, "Who cares about the games, did Jenny Finch's tits fall out at any time?" Sadly, the answer is no, but this led me to an important thought: Since this was the last Olympic Softball game for 8 years, can't we just put together a team of traveling smokeshows and call them the US National Team? I mean, seriously, I've watched college softball games for the girls and for some reason the 1 or 1.5 hot girls per team ratio stays true. Don't believe me? Click on any of these links and look at the player bios
(http://www.gatorzone.com/softball/bios.php or http://www.ukathletics.com/doc_lib/sb_2008mg_01.pdf)
These are the bios and media guides for the University of Florida and the University of Kentucky. Two states with such lovely ladies are garunteed to have a team full of double-play turning Jessica Simpsons, right? Wrong! There is only 1 hot girl per team! (I will save you the trouble of looking and tell you that it's Francesca Enea from UF and Annie Rowlands from UK)
All I'm saying is, if we no longer get medals, then let's at least put a good looking product on the field, I mean, isn't that really what America is all about? Wouldn't more people care that they cancelled an entire sport if we had a battery of Jenny Finch and Kim Kardashian? Just like my man Woody said to Snipes during White Men Can't Jump, "You'd rather look good and lose than look bad and win." Couldn't have said it better myself. . .
P.S. Thanks for Reading:
The Kid
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