Why Can't I Ever See a Flyer for Shit Like This?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/09/16/nasa.bone.loss/index.html

So NASA paid this guy, Roderick Jones, an unemployed 40 year old man, to lay in a bed for 3 months straight so that they could study the effects of bone loss in space. How the fuck did this guy get my dream job? This is the ultimate in laziness. Sit on my ass all day, except for 2 hours of moderate excercise, for 3 months straight and collect $12,000? Yes, please. Shit, Ace has been doing that for 5 and a half years! On the Roderick Jones pay scale he should have made $264,000 by now.

"He ate, slept, read, typed, talked on the phone, and drank -- all while lying down."

I can eat, sleep, read, type, talk and drink while laying down! Sign me up.

NASA said they went through 300 different candidates and this is the only one so far with the "right stuff." What exactly makes up the right stuff when your entire job is lying down on a bed surfing the internet? I'm probably much better at killing time than he is. The Kid layed in bed from at least September to November of our Freshman year smoking blunts and jerking off. Why couldn't he earn 12 grand?

And if you think you'd become a lazy, flabby piece of shit participating in something like this, think again. Rod actually lost 10 pounds! He can thank the zero gravity treadmill for that:

"Rod and his cohort exercise on a device called the enhanced-zero gravity locomotion simulator or eZLS. It's a vertical treadmill on which the runner is suspended in a system of harnesses, pulleys and bungee cords -- pushing them into the device. The astronauts use a similar device on the International Space Station."

Boy that doesn't sound like a good time at all... In a time when hard working bankers are being laid off right and left and centuries old banks are going under, this unemployed joe was paid twelve thousand dollars to lie down in bed and stay there. If he's not your hero, kill yourself.