There are a few things I have come to expect of dorm life. Disgustingness, athlete's foot, and the underworld of beating off while your roomates out.
Things are bad. But after several sticky key incidences, and unclaimed crispy socks under my comp, I had no choice but to think like a criminal, to catch the criminals.
1) You've got kids who keep things simple: they memorize their roomates schedule. A conventional method that never steers you wrong.
2) Then you've got the rogue offenders: the buddy who, if their room is tied up at the moment, will slip into YOUR room while your in the shower and polish one off on your comp. Problem is, because time is of the essence, all effort is spent into the meatsmacking and zero thought is put into clearing the history or wiping off the keyboard.
3) Finally, you have the braindead roomate who enjoys a good slap around as much as the next guy but lacks the intelligence of freshman #1 and the heart of freshman #2. So what does he do? Simple, he places this jackass phone call to me inthe middle of the day:
"Hey dude, um... I was wondering when you were going to be back in the room?"
"why?"
"uhh... nah, you know. Just wondering..."
"stay the fuck away from my computer"
Mike, Wisconsin
what I would give to be a freshman again. Great post.
ReplyDelete