Middle Aged Weirdo in Wool Sweater: Hey guy!
Even Stranger Early 30s Hipster: Yhhhoooo duddee. Long time. Jeez, how's life man?
M: Ya'know. Complicated. Boring..
E: light giggle.. thought those complications left.
M: The complications moved back in. Ya' know.
E: wow. So like, how is that?
M: Ya'know. Awful. I told her she's got five days.
E: ...
M: Like, I already did the 2 kids, wife and house in the suburbs thing. And this one was just a fling in the first place. Ya'know? I tried being the nice guy, but I've tasted freedom and I can never go back.
E: tell me about it, being single is the tits.
M: Then of course, she OD'd twice last week
E: ...look of deep confusion
M: F*cking whore. Ya'know? Did the whole "try to off her self" thing too. It was a nightmare.
E ...horrified
M: tried to have the bitch committed, but I have no legal ties to her, and then there was the dumb sex offender thing on my record - complete bullshit by the way - ..anyways, the hospital didn't think I had any authority to have her committed.
E: um, well sure. but, it was great seeing you buddy.
Ace, to cashier: yea, I'm in a rush...
wackjob.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to go ahead and say the sex offense involved a minor.
this site was on Digg. pretty funny
ReplyDeleteI hear conversations like this in public all the time. People are fucking nuts. And they run through these types of discussions like everything is a-okay.
ReplyDeletewhy do i have a feeling "middle aged weirdo in a wool sweeter" is in fact ace
ReplyDeleteThis story was fucking hilarious.
ReplyDelete