Sleep Talker

Phone Conversation w/ a friend, 24 mins ago
(names have been changed for privacy issues)

Riinnggg...

Ace:: yo.

Buddy:: dude, are you sitting down?

Ace:: I can't actually think of a gayer way to start a conversation

Buddy:: okay. f*ck you. but you won't believe what I'm about to tell you

Ace:: ...

Buddy:: so I wake up this morning and give it to Sarah

Ace:: I really, really hope you aren't calling me to talk about sex with your girlfriend.

Buddy:: no, dick. Listen.. So I give her that A.M. dick, right? But she just doesn't seem pleased.

Ace:: yea, your dick is infinitesimally small.

buddy:: perfect. No jackass, I could tell something was up. So I'm like, "whats wrong?".. She won't say sh*t. I'm bbm'ing her the rest of the day, trying to figure out what's good, and finally she says "okay, i'll tell you".

Ace:: this story better get good, real fast.

Buddy:: lastnight, in my sleep.. I apparently "clearly" said out loud to my girflriend of several months now "Sarah, I don't want to date you, I just want to f*ck you, get my drift?"

Ace:: sweet. Jesus. And who speaks in coherent thesis when their unconscious?? Wow.

Buddy:: Yea, she's not happy. At all. But she did let me doggy that 20 mins ago.

...dial tone