It's '09, do you know where your children are?

Sex offenders are hyped right now. With the recent introduction of Elmo Tickle Hands to the market, thick mustache having, windowless black van owning, pedophiles across the country are antsy as fucks. Why unbuckle a pair of overalls barehanded, when you could do it wearing fluffy red fur bearing the face of a neurotic muppet?!