Ayo Subway...

Dear Subway Marketing Team,

If you thought that advertising foot long sandwhiches for 5 dolla wasn't going to attract every poor person in the world, you were wrong. And if you thought these indigents planned on spending a cent over exactly 5 dolla, you were severely mistaken. On several occasions now, my Ace Turkey Double Cheese Subway Special has been interrupted by a homeless guy who mustered up exactly $5.00 in change only to learn the register had other plans in mind of $5.19.

Homless #1: Nah, Nah, Nah, ya'll said the shit was figh dollas. I ain't spendin no figh ninteen. Acks my boy here, he seen the commercial.

Homless #2, the accomplice:: see, nahh. thats that false advertisement. I'ma sue ya'll for that shit...on the real!

Cashier: ...my friend. theese is tax. there is nothing I can do. I am vetty sorry.

Homeless #1: Nah, see NAH!!! I don't want the SHIT THEN!

Homeless Accomplice picks up sand which and throws it at cashier


This is usually when I make my exit, but I imagine things escalating to a few more "Nahs" a couple "vetty sorries" and a whole shit load of sandwhich/condiment tossing. So I'm acksin' you subway, do something about this price because I don't know how many more disgruntled no shoe lace having, 3-inch nail sporting, kinda fresh but not so much 1982 Philly's windbreaker wearing people I can stomach.