Nutjob in the criddib

It's 9:30 pm and I'm standing outside my building in a hoodie, mesh shorts from high school and beatup high tops waiting for delivery service; green delivery service. Anyway, as Harvey rolls up we both notice a police van nearby, and decide to move our transaction elsewhere.

Harvey: sup stranger

Ace: sup Harvey!?

Harvey: thats not my name.

Ace: I'm feelin this song u got goin right now, "On To the Next One" is the hottest on the album though. Oh, and I just need 1

Harvey: Yea, its aight. I'm really a Capadonna guy though.. Oh, I got this hot mdma shit, you could sample that jaunt ("jaunt", philly pronunciation for joint) for free, right here. Like, right, here. AND I got piff if you fillin that.

Ace: Yea. No. Its Tuesday. I'm all set on that.


Sauntering from the 2009 Benz to my apt, 1 "ill Cali jumpoff" gram heavier, I notice 2 police officers chatting it up with my door man. Now, if I was 16, I'd have shit my black CK briefs with the hole right then and there. Instead, I dids my thing:

Ace: Whats going on guys?

Cop #1: sir, what's in your closet.

As you can imagine, I am now 16 years old again, clutching my recent purchase with a tight, sweaty fist in my pocket, looking for a way out of this conversation. Quick. Rather, again, I played it cool.

Ace:: well, remember guys, I'm in a duplex. So, if your trying to figure out a particular apt arrangment, I'm not sure I can be of any help.

Cop #2: Ahh, okay. We're just trying to gain access into a resident's closet but not sure what to expect.

Ace:: is there a problem?

Cop #1: leans in...well, on the top floor of the South portion of the building, we've been made aware of a ..challenged... resident, who we've since apprehended. There was, lewd writing all over his walls, blood, and unmentionable..."stuff"... scattered across the floor and bathroom.

Yea, "what the fuck?!" is right. Thank the stars I live on the North Side of the Building. As if this interaction wasn't miserable enough, I'm now checking my shoulder for a batshit murderer lurking the hallways.

It was nothing alittle Madden 2010 couldn't cure though, beeleedat.

How Good is Curb

Sunday night is officially HBO night. Hangover's worn off, your girl's in sweatpants, delivery food is all set, it is now time to allow Larry David and the boys from queens to do there thing.

Finally, we're through with Vivica and co. Don't get me wrong, I'm down with Fox, but not when she's effin with my LD vibe. Leon is here to stay, and in less than 7 days, my other favorite television show - Seinfeld - will somehow come back on air in the midst of my second favorite show. So, shit is sweet right now.

But HBO didn't stop there. It's official: we're through with anorexic Ashley. Big ups to Marky Mark. Sure, I haven't yet figured out who's a worse actor: Adrian Grenier or Vince, but that's neither here nor there. Stuff like the itchy E situation was on point enough to tickle my funny bone and keep me watching. As was the clip of Ari, Vince, and Matt Damon afterwards (seen below).

Final recap on SundayHBONight is the new show with jason schwartzman and ted dansen - i'm assuming I butchered those last names but don't feel like looking it up, so, fuckoff. Anyway, the premise of the show is, Schwartzman has just decided to pose as a private eye, though unlicensed, putting himself and his services out on craigslist. Kinda funny, the bearded guy from The Hangover is in it (can't pronounce or spell his name whatsoever). Gonna need another week to make my decision.

But yea,below is this Adrian Grenier, Matt Damon, Jeremy Piven thing. The video was apparently leaked by someone saying they got their hands on it from the Entourage set, while Damon was trying to plug this onexone charity he's a part of. It was then put on youtube, and I guess HBO thinks the world is not smart enough to pickup on a ploy to get attention prior to their season finale. We're not morons for corn's sake. Eitherway, it's kinda good, and I am going to watch next week, which, well, makes me a moron.