Caffeine Martyrs- You know those people that preface a conversation with how many coffees they've had as if to let me know I should tread carefully? "Ugh. Don't even get me started, I've already had 4 coffees today!". If i didn't know any better, I'd assume this coffee is laced with 200 lbs of pure columbian cocaine and a shot of dipshit. "Oh, you've had 4 coffees? Great. My armpits are niagra falls right now, all my laundry is dirty so these boxers are inside out, the Playoffs are over and its rained 18 out of the first 20 days in June. So be a doll, and go fuck yourself."
People Who Lack Earphones- As I sit in awe, next to the 30 year old with their sidekick playing Drake - Best I Ever Had - I ponder which mental defficiency exists that prompts someone to forgoe earphones in public when listening to music. Are these people challenged? Or are they just oblivious to the fact that not one person is interested in hearing their hot97 playlist? Jerks.
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